pol·i·cy [pol-uh-see] –noun, plural -cies.
a definite course of action adopted for the sake of expediency, facility, etc.: We have a new company policy.
The word "policy" brings to mind many things... a possible association with the police and a love for things icy cool and refreshing, among them.
Policies are things evil, evil men calling themselves "insurance salesmen" sell you. In such cases, what you're actually buying is a very cheap set of paperwork for a very large amount of money, with the promise that if something terrible happens to you, you might get some of that money back.
This is, of course, as opposed to gambling in Las Vegas, wherein you buy a very cheap set of thrills for a very large amount of money, with the promise that if something very wonderful happens to you, you might get some of that money back.
Oddly enough, although more money has been paid to providers of insurance than has ever been lost to games of chance, gambling remains illegal in many parts of the country and is considered quite immoral, while insurance is not only legal, it's often mandatory.
Not that I'm a great fan of Las Vegas (the city's only redeeming feature is the nightly performance by the Blue Man Group) or gambling in general (although Maverick was a damn fine movie)... I just loathe the very idea of insurance.
I have an old friend who once got a job for an insurance company. Here's an almost verbatim transcript of our conversation:
"Jim, I got this great job working for an insurance company!"
"You've joined an evil empire? How disappointing."
"No, you don't understand - this insurance company is really great. It helps people! We actually paid out more money last year to our customers than we took in, and we're very proud of that."
"Sounds nice. So how's the job?"
"Fantastic! Everybody just got huge bonuses!"
"Why?"
"Record profitability last year, man! This company's going places!"
"Wait a second. If you paid out more money last year than you took in, that means you had a loss. So how could you possibly have had record profitability?"
"...."
"Hello?"
"..."
"Hello?!?"
"Yeah, I'm here. That just... that just never occured to me before."
He never did explain that to me. He would always change the subject whenever I asked. But he made a buttload of money.
But I digress, because this is an article about policy, and insurance policies are just one type of evil, evil policy that exists in this world. No matter what type they are, though, policies far too often seem to exist for one reason and one reason only: to exploit the little guy.
What's the most common use of the word "policy" in the English language? Without a doubt, it's "I'm sorry, that's our company policy." Why can't you get a refund on your cell phone when the damn thing didn't work for a week? Company policy. Why can't you buy only the channels you actually want to watch from the cable conglomerate? Company policy. Why can't you play a harmless game of football with your friends using the big jugs of milk in the Wal-Mart freezer section? Company policy.
And they'll kick you out of the store for that last one, too. Trust me, I've been there.
From whence does the business policy originate? Policy (from the Latin policium, which, roughly translated, means "no milk football") is meant to be a catch-all rule applied to a wide range of situations, arising in the best possible result. A policy is a rule to be used when faced with a problem - note that you're not supposed to think about the problem, note that you're not supposed to plan the most profitable solution. You're supposed to blindly follow the policy. If you're an employee of a business, that's what the business wants. If you're the customer of a business, you'd better pray the policy works in your favor.
Policies are a lot like the Force: there's a Light, flaky side filled with blue and green lightsabers, and there's a Dark, evil side filled with mean, nasty policies that shoot lightning to fry your butt. Good policies include ones like the one at the Empire State Building that prevents you from dangling your little brother off the side, or the one at Mount Rushmore that prohibits jackhammers and other power tools from being used to clear that mole off Lincoln's cheek.
But in the mainstream business world, those are sadly the exception. Businesses that institute no-wiggle-room this-is-how-we-do-business strict policies miss the core foundations of business growth: problem solving and thinking outside the box. A policy is formed because it works as a solution to a specific problem once, and somebody thinks it would work similarly well in all future instances of that problem.
Of course, when that problem does arise again, it's not always 100% exactly the same as it was the first time... so the policy solution doesn't work quite as well. And the further out you get from the original institution of the policy, the less likely it is that the problems dealt with are anything like the original one that started the policy. And before too long, you have policies that work against the best interests of the business, that raise expenses by forcing inept decisions or decrease revenues by alienating clients and partners.
To be sure, that's a broad generalization - there are many examples of policies in the business world that work and work very well. These are policies formed to deal with difficult, confusing situations, and policies that recognize their own limitations - the inability of a soulless document to adapt to a changing marketplace over time. Unfortunately, these are all too often the exception to the rule, in a world where policies are formed by leaders for very good and noble reasons, and then managed by bureaucrats into shining examples of nonsense.
An example for your approval: while working for a certain retail establishment, a policy was dredged up that anything that cost money without directly benefitting customers was to be removed from all retail stores. Coffee machines and refrigerators existed in all of the retail stores in the employee lounges, which didn't benefit customers in the slightest. Thus, employee coffee machines and refrigerators were removed from all retail stores, resulting in low morale, enhanced employee turnover, and contributing to the unionization of the workforce.
Another example for your approval: an employee had an opportunity to sign her company up for a business exposition, resulting in big sales for the business. The only catch was, she found out about the expo just as the deadline date for registration approached, so she didn't have time to fill out an expense order and get the company to pay for it. Being the good employee that she was, she took the money out of her own pocket, confident that her employers would reimburse her. However, since the young lady didn't follow company policy, the company refused to give her the money back... despite the massive sales gained at the exposition.
Both true stories, and both excellent examples of people following the letter of the law, and damning the business in the process.
The problem with policy can be this: it assumes people don't have adequate brainpower to handle problems by themselves. It assumes that the employees of a business aren't intelligent and/or creative enough to come up with a solution without help from Big Brother. This menializes and trivializes the employee, degrading the employee's job and insulting his or her mental capacity. And if a company doesn't trust an employee enough to let them brainstorm the answers to simple problems - well, why in God's name did the company hire that person, then?
Yes, I know, that oversimplifies things quite a bit, but you must admit that the root point is a valid one. Businesses claim that they hire only the best, that they give their employees world-class training, that they value their employees more than just about anything... and then they don't trust them enough to let them come up with a solution to a simple problem. Yes, there are good policies - common sense policies, and policies that are needed to provide frameworks for proceeding in uncertain or unfamiliar circumstances. And then there are policies that exist to give bureaucrats jobs. Policies that force you to buy only from a specified vendor... who no longer sells what you need to buy. Policies that force you to fill out three copies of a form when all three of them end up in the exact same file. Policies that force you to lie to customers because the policy doesn't reflect modern reality.
The most successful organizations are flexible, adaptable. They realize that what worked yesterday won't necessarily work tomorrow, and they trust the good people they've hired to solve the problems they're faced with. Sure, they institute base guidelines and rules to help their employees get started - but the best of the best turn on a dime and choose to be guided not by a blind set of policies; but instead, by the simple imperatives to fulfill the mission statement and increase profitability.
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